30 September 2013, 18:21
Okay, please note, this is for entertainment purposes only, and anything suggested is not intended as a reflection on my own personal behaviour. In no way, shape, or form, do I recommend anything illegal.
Right, now that the legal cover has been done, on with the fun.
Because I have been considering and planning many preps for the loft, I thought it only appropriate to post some of those thoughts. I have been focusing on the loft recently, due to my major garden project being put on hold thanks to spending time with the wife (well worth it), and the fact that the dogs have dug everything up. Instead of my major garden build plan, I've been forced to have a few small poly-sheeted things go up. They're not ideal, but a good temporary measure. Anyway, that's another post for another day.
Loft time.
This is stuff that I think people should think about, look into, consider, and enjoy the ideas of.
Firstly, you will need to insulate your loft. This is not much of a prep, but more of a way to keep the cost of living down. Futhermore, this 'prep' will help you survive those hard winters.
Secondly you'll want to fit a max-min thermometer. Cost for this will be a few pounds. This is vital, and preferable in winter and summer, to take readings.
The reason for the odd adage of the thermometer is because many products should not be stored above a certain temperature. Other 'products' like water, can freeze, expand, and damage their storage container. The last thing you want it those many litres of water all bursting through the ceiling once they thaw out. So, taking those readings would be a VERY helpful idea. If you do not have time to fit such a thing and take year round readings, then maybe storing only certain items in the loft would be a good idea, until you have a complete year's worth of data.
Thirdly, you want to check what condition your loft is currently in. Are those beams looking strong and worthy? Much head space? Can you board it up and still have reasonable storage space? Do you need to clear out any birds nets or bee hives? For obvious reasons this is pretty damn important.
Fourthly, get ready to make a plan!
We all know SD loves his plans. Plan, plan, plan. Pah, how boring is that as a way to prep? Turns out he's right, especially about this one. Right now is the ideal time to plan this 'conversion'. Why? Because it'll be when you bring down the Christmas tree and everything else! Perfect timing hu? Start planning now, and you'll have a Christmas project waiting. But what you need to do is plan what you intend to do. This works brilliantly with the next thing you'll need to do...
5th, check what you are working with. This is different from checking the condition of the loft. Do you have walls for shelves? How deep are your floor beams? Does part of the loft already have floorboards in place? How big is your opening hatch into the loft? How far is the fall from loft floor to the floor below, e.g. bedroom floor? Are you fit and agile enough to do the work yourself? Can you carry the materials for the build up the ladder safely?
Once you have checked over these 5 things, you have provided yourself with a much clearer footing to start your build. Once you're at this point, back to step 4. You'll need to plan who, how, how much, how long, costs, tricks, ideas, and obviously layouts.
Here are a few things to look at: Do you need to make a concealed hiding place for 'contraband' items. We can call these kinds of things "Black Ops". You may need to hide black ops items. You can easily build a black ops box by sinking a few L shape brackets down along side the floor beams in your loft, and then placing a few more beams that run perpendicular to your pre-existing floor beams. Once that is done, you can add a plywood floor to create a 'box' type build, sunken into the floor of your loft. Add a small hinge and cover up. Presto, you have a black ops prep hiding place in your new build. Next up, just lay the rest of the floor with the same wood that you used for the 'lid' of your box, and magic, it vanishes. Add a small drilled hole that you can use to screw in a small screw, then use a pair of pliers to pull the lid open. Note, you don't actually need a hinge.
If you live in a house that had a solid brick wall as a part of the loft (terrace and semi-detached owners rejoice) you can very simply add a rack of shelves. Obviously you don't want to over burden the walls, but shelves allow you to stack vertically instead of just along the floor.
Speaking about the floor. How are you going to get that huge wooden panel up there? The one you're planning on using for the floor? With flooring, you need to remember that you can only get wood that is smaller than your loft entry up there. Measure the diagonal entry route, and then use a little shorter than that measurement as sizing for your floor panels.
What wood is best? Depends on what you'll be doing with it. Chipboard will happily hold toilet paper, but ply is best for holding human weight. Remember, you don't want to add too much weight and ruin the wooden runners holding your roof up. Yo have to work with what you already have. But these things are pretty strong. Best thing to do, get a guy up for a 'free quote' and ask him how much weight the current beams could take, and then ask what kind of work would be done to strengthen them so that they could bare the load required. Use his expert opinion as a guideline weight capacity. Don't forget, he will be trying to sell you stuff, so his information would be best served with a pinch of salt.
It may well be worth finding where your load bearing walls are and adding some vertical supports to make more triangle sections in areas of the loft. These can be used as a base for more shelves.
Lastly, you'll need to consider ways up, down, and alternative ways up and down. Could you go up into the loft via a wardrobe or bathroom cupboard? If so, you'll probably want to work out where those bits are in the loft and not board over them. The same goes for ways down. Do you have a spare ladder in the loft? Do you have any climbing gear so that you can get down the outside of your house, from the roof?
WHAT?!?! S13, you're being crazy, chatting bubbles!!! Why would I want those kinds of things?
Look at people in floods. Moreover, look at people whom are unlucky enough to have their ladder fall when they're up in the loft. If it's a long way down, you'll be very pleased you have that spare ladder. What about a break in? You may need to hide or have your kids hide up there. Remember MidNiteMo's post about looters getting into your home? What if you're asleep and need to get up there to get out, because there is a load of people downstairs? A loft could even double as a bug in location. But if someone starts a fire, you may need a rapid way out. Is it very Hollywood? Probably, yes. Could it genuinely happen? Yes. Is it thus worth considering? Of course.
Actually, this will be the last consideration for this post. While making this build, if you intend to increase the security of your house's roof, why not get to it right now during this build. Just remember to leave an area where you can easily knock out some tiles and escape onto the roof, in case of flood or the alike.
Right, now that the legal cover has been done, on with the fun.
Because I have been considering and planning many preps for the loft, I thought it only appropriate to post some of those thoughts. I have been focusing on the loft recently, due to my major garden project being put on hold thanks to spending time with the wife (well worth it), and the fact that the dogs have dug everything up. Instead of my major garden build plan, I've been forced to have a few small poly-sheeted things go up. They're not ideal, but a good temporary measure. Anyway, that's another post for another day.
Loft time.
This is stuff that I think people should think about, look into, consider, and enjoy the ideas of.
Firstly, you will need to insulate your loft. This is not much of a prep, but more of a way to keep the cost of living down. Futhermore, this 'prep' will help you survive those hard winters.
Secondly you'll want to fit a max-min thermometer. Cost for this will be a few pounds. This is vital, and preferable in winter and summer, to take readings.
The reason for the odd adage of the thermometer is because many products should not be stored above a certain temperature. Other 'products' like water, can freeze, expand, and damage their storage container. The last thing you want it those many litres of water all bursting through the ceiling once they thaw out. So, taking those readings would be a VERY helpful idea. If you do not have time to fit such a thing and take year round readings, then maybe storing only certain items in the loft would be a good idea, until you have a complete year's worth of data.
Thirdly, you want to check what condition your loft is currently in. Are those beams looking strong and worthy? Much head space? Can you board it up and still have reasonable storage space? Do you need to clear out any birds nets or bee hives? For obvious reasons this is pretty damn important.
Fourthly, get ready to make a plan!
We all know SD loves his plans. Plan, plan, plan. Pah, how boring is that as a way to prep? Turns out he's right, especially about this one. Right now is the ideal time to plan this 'conversion'. Why? Because it'll be when you bring down the Christmas tree and everything else! Perfect timing hu? Start planning now, and you'll have a Christmas project waiting. But what you need to do is plan what you intend to do. This works brilliantly with the next thing you'll need to do...
5th, check what you are working with. This is different from checking the condition of the loft. Do you have walls for shelves? How deep are your floor beams? Does part of the loft already have floorboards in place? How big is your opening hatch into the loft? How far is the fall from loft floor to the floor below, e.g. bedroom floor? Are you fit and agile enough to do the work yourself? Can you carry the materials for the build up the ladder safely?
Once you have checked over these 5 things, you have provided yourself with a much clearer footing to start your build. Once you're at this point, back to step 4. You'll need to plan who, how, how much, how long, costs, tricks, ideas, and obviously layouts.
Here are a few things to look at: Do you need to make a concealed hiding place for 'contraband' items. We can call these kinds of things "Black Ops". You may need to hide black ops items. You can easily build a black ops box by sinking a few L shape brackets down along side the floor beams in your loft, and then placing a few more beams that run perpendicular to your pre-existing floor beams. Once that is done, you can add a plywood floor to create a 'box' type build, sunken into the floor of your loft. Add a small hinge and cover up. Presto, you have a black ops prep hiding place in your new build. Next up, just lay the rest of the floor with the same wood that you used for the 'lid' of your box, and magic, it vanishes. Add a small drilled hole that you can use to screw in a small screw, then use a pair of pliers to pull the lid open. Note, you don't actually need a hinge.
If you live in a house that had a solid brick wall as a part of the loft (terrace and semi-detached owners rejoice) you can very simply add a rack of shelves. Obviously you don't want to over burden the walls, but shelves allow you to stack vertically instead of just along the floor.
Speaking about the floor. How are you going to get that huge wooden panel up there? The one you're planning on using for the floor? With flooring, you need to remember that you can only get wood that is smaller than your loft entry up there. Measure the diagonal entry route, and then use a little shorter than that measurement as sizing for your floor panels.
What wood is best? Depends on what you'll be doing with it. Chipboard will happily hold toilet paper, but ply is best for holding human weight. Remember, you don't want to add too much weight and ruin the wooden runners holding your roof up. Yo have to work with what you already have. But these things are pretty strong. Best thing to do, get a guy up for a 'free quote' and ask him how much weight the current beams could take, and then ask what kind of work would be done to strengthen them so that they could bare the load required. Use his expert opinion as a guideline weight capacity. Don't forget, he will be trying to sell you stuff, so his information would be best served with a pinch of salt.
It may well be worth finding where your load bearing walls are and adding some vertical supports to make more triangle sections in areas of the loft. These can be used as a base for more shelves.
Lastly, you'll need to consider ways up, down, and alternative ways up and down. Could you go up into the loft via a wardrobe or bathroom cupboard? If so, you'll probably want to work out where those bits are in the loft and not board over them. The same goes for ways down. Do you have a spare ladder in the loft? Do you have any climbing gear so that you can get down the outside of your house, from the roof?
WHAT?!?! S13, you're being crazy, chatting bubbles!!! Why would I want those kinds of things?
Look at people in floods. Moreover, look at people whom are unlucky enough to have their ladder fall when they're up in the loft. If it's a long way down, you'll be very pleased you have that spare ladder. What about a break in? You may need to hide or have your kids hide up there. Remember MidNiteMo's post about looters getting into your home? What if you're asleep and need to get up there to get out, because there is a load of people downstairs? A loft could even double as a bug in location. But if someone starts a fire, you may need a rapid way out. Is it very Hollywood? Probably, yes. Could it genuinely happen? Yes. Is it thus worth considering? Of course.
Actually, this will be the last consideration for this post. While making this build, if you intend to increase the security of your house's roof, why not get to it right now during this build. Just remember to leave an area where you can easily knock out some tiles and escape onto the roof, in case of flood or the alike.
