Survival UK Forums

I was having a bit of an attack of "what if-itis", as you do, and my mind was wandering along the lines of post-events. I wondered if marmalade, or the fixings for making it, would be available. It would be quite hard to be deprived of some things, and little things can really brighten your day. Well, not a problem, you can by marmalade ingredients in cans, you just cook it. Problem solved.

Than I started to wonder about loo-paper. Quite an important item really both for the sheer comfort of it and also hygiene. I can't see the Andrex factory coming back to life after a breakdown, so decent loo paper could be off the list for a bit. Now I know that the given prepper replacements for loo paper are leaves, moss, wool, etc. etc., but if you were a town-dweller, where the hell would you get these things from? I'm not even sure that some townies even know what leaves are o.k. to use. And honestly, the only moss I have ever found is that green slimy stuff in the middle of my lawn, and there is no way that is going anywhere near my backside!

Just imagine, you had no clue about plants, it would be so easy to make a horrible mistake. Word of advice, don't use hogweed unless you have a death wish! Although this could be to your advantage if your idiot neighbour who hadn't bothered to stock up came knocking on your door.
"So sorry you are out of loopaper. Here, take my last sheet of dried hogweed. Enjoy!!"

It just seems to me that so much prepper/survival stuff is aimed at the folks who live out in the sticks rather than in towns. And it wouldn't be necessarily possible or certainly easy to gain the needed knowledge.

We have all been here...............you run to the loo....drop your kegs .....and relief...you now notice no loo paper left on the roll ..just hanging there bald as a badgers bum....nothing else about...your options are small ...your fag packet ....or trying to unroll the cardboard tube of the spent roll...bit of a dilemma ...they are spiral wound....the trick is to unravel then reduce the thickness ...this can take ages and does not guarantee success ...you can even sing Do wah didi didi all the way through ....three times ....and end up with various differing thickness's of card ....and end up with a mass of bits....not pretty and not practical ...but needs must...and with eyes tightly closed shut attempt the wipe.....in general terms and many attempts i have never mastered the ARRRGGGHHH than always takes place.....water is good Mary...but warm it first under your armpit .

Oranges will be difficult to grow in the UK as will pineapples and bananas, and strawberries will become seasonal again.

Bog paper is an unhygienic modern development that wont be missed, it will be back to bum washing Roman style I reckon with a cloth or sponge on a stick stored in a pot of warm soapy or disinfectant water. Bog paper is a western pastime much of the world use washing via various means from bidets if you have the power and heat, to a bowl with a rag and everything inbetween.

Sanitary towels could in a worst case scenario return to being pieces of old clothing that are washed and reused or discarded and burnt, Tampons, Disposable towels, Bog Paper , Baby wipes, Disposable nappies will in a really bad collapse be distant memories.

Bog paper will not be a problem---plenty of it at the local Mosque chums.

WTSHTF bog paper will be the least of your problems!!!

What I want to know it who is it that keeps shitting on a fan????

@NR - the visual image of that made me spit my cornflakes out

cornflakes at 10.50AM? did someone forget to put their clock back?