Definitions: or what the He!! do they think they are doing?

[Mortblanc]

During this recovery period I have been watching a lot of bush-craft, hiking and woodcraft videos. It has shocked me at the free use of some of the traditional terms I have seen of late.

Now do not think I am picking on British outdoorsmen. This is a generalized observation and includes those from the Philippines, India and Malaysia also.

Stealth camping is one. If you sneak onto someone's property and set a tent up in the middle of a field you are not stealth camping. Especially if you can be seen from the roadway, from the farmer's house, on CCTV, or light up a big honking bonfire that blazes five feet high.

When you do that you are simply waiting beside a tent for the constables to come collect you. Shouting about the injustice of society and expressing contempt for the landowners and calling the police their lackeys is not appropriate at that point, especially when you dropped a good 2K pounds for your "stealth camping gear" and drove up in a 20k pound vehicle.

Wild camping is next. Getting drunk at the pub and passing out in the ditch is not "wild camping".

You are not wild camping if your vehicle is in a car park less than 100 yards from the tent. You might as well be in your back garden. Just because you are in a tent does not make it wild camping. A tarp does not make it wild camping. An exception might be if you were on a 4WD or bike expedition into remote territory. I would view that as legitimate wild camping. Packing your gear in on a horse, llama or camel also counts.

Packing into rough country out of sight and sound of the traffic and vehicles and not seeing a house or person anywhere for miles around is wild camping. One must actually be in the wild to be wild camping. If I can hear the traffic passing by your camp on the You tube video it is not a "wild camp"!

OK, now about backpacking. Putting everything you own into a big sack and toting it down the road is not backpacking. Over here in the states road miles do not count as miles traveled on most of the sanctioned trails.

If there is a village every three miles along your paved highway route you are not backpacking. If you stop at a tea shop for a break you are not backpacking! If you walked for 40 miles, took four days had three hot showers and 6 pub meals and never stepped on dirt you are not backpacking, especially if you never opened the pack except to get at you clean clothes, and you have a clean outfit for each day.

I have seen several videos where I could not for the life of me figure why the person was displaying their kit at the start and toting the 30 kilo sack of "necessities" when they were sleeping in a B&B nightly and eating at the local cafes!

Now referring to the before mentioned road miles. If one is driving down a gravel or graded and pressed stone roadway or tended dirt path from one destination to another that is constantly in use one is not "off road". One is simply not on a paved road. I grew up living on one of those gravel paths through the woods. Have lived on several since then and if the government does not do something about the road I live on very soon I will wind up residing on another. I had an address that stated I lived on a road. Therefore it was impossible to drive past my house while "off roading".

Be it motorbike or 4 wheeled vehicle the rule stays the same. If it is a defined track that is groomed, graded and maintained or if it is identified and named on a map, it is not an "off road" experience. Those graveled, cobbled, graded tracks were not to long ago the "main roads" and they are certainly not "Off Road", even if you did get your Range Rover muddy when you went down them. Those were puddles, not mud bogs.

I am also surprised that there are any you-tube bush-crafters with any fingers and toes left. I never saw such atrocious knife and ax skills. (Did you know that when I spell AXE (that is the American spelling) on your site it tags as mis-spelled").

I also never saw so many people carrying meat in a pack in 30c weather so they can cook a steak for the evening of the second day. Do you suppose they might be cheating and have a support car with an icebox along?

OK, rant over. My supper is cooked and I must go. I am having one of those meals you people do not eat called "meat loaf". Ground beef and spices al mixed up and covered with sauce and baked. Good stuff!