interlude

[Straight Shooter]

Vera and tom from Abercarn saved hard for a cruising holiday around the med..it took 3 years to save up , they both scoured the fancy brochures ...looked in every travel agents window........ but it was difficult ...they wanted to take little mitsy their pet dog along with them the small poodle with red ribbon bow and blow dried hair was giving them a big problem " sorry we don,t do dogs " was the reply endless times....then a friend said ...i,ll have a look on the net for you Vera......tom said oh great boyo can ewe.....bill said no problem ...will get back soon as i can.....Fantastic news vee bill spouts down the phone..oh ave ewe found something bill ? .... Yes i have and they do dogs...your cabin is top deck with an on suit kennel....How much bill ..how much is it .......bill said you will not believe this vee its only £900.00 pounds all in for ...wait for it....two weeks....ITALY....SPAIN.....vera interrupts BOOK IT now bill book it NOW ! we will be over now with the cash.....tom is stood there clasping his hands smiling WELL WELL tell me munn!....bill is booking it now ! lets get over his house and pay him...when ? we going vee ...what dates ? tom asking as they shut the front door ...i don,t bloody care ....what ever ! ........ they arrive at bill and marys place ....mary is hooping and hollering ....only bloody sorted it ...init ...and you leave a week Thursday....bloody marvellous it is boyo thank you ever so ...we love that dog ...vee is over the moon ...look at her.


Thursday soon comes around ...they arrive at Southampton ....Look at the size of it vee....." oh its beautiful tom i,m so happy " tom removes the cases and mitsies case puts them on a trolley and check in......up in the cabin vera checks every inch ....oh look tom there,s even a seperate toilet and shower for mitsy ...oh this is summut else vee .....stonking....stonking it is can,t wait to tell the boys down the rugby club....take pictures vee take some pictures love......out on deck there is a dog walking and exercise area....vera and tom walk down along with mitsy ...its hot...put some sun block on tom you know you burn easy ! ...hold on i,ll do it...vera rubs the sun block on toms balding head....shoulders , arms....then rubs some on her arms.....they are some young lads playing footie ...the ball lands by toms feet....he kicks it back towards the lads ...misjudges and it,s over the rail .....mitsy slips the lead runs and leaps over after the ball thinking tom wants to play fetch ......vera faints and crumbles to the floor....tom shouts fuck oh fuck no.....please god running... jumps on the saftey rail and hangs over.....no sign.....nothing....vera is now being revived by a crew member with smelling salts....coming to she looks at tom....she,s gone love ....gone ...vera runs back to the cabin....followed by tom muttering it was that fucking sun block see ...the lead slipped off see ....tom get back to the cabin vera is on the bed crying inconsolably.....it slipped off vee ....the sun block see love.....oh that,s right it,s my fault now is it then ! no love i did,nt mean that love .....the captain said it would take at least half a mile to stop the ship ...when i rang him..he said by that time mitsy would surely have drown ....vera yelps out ...my little baby oh my little girl....toms head falls .....the remaining time on board is passed with the help of Gin tripples and gallons of beer , wine and spirits of all kinds just to hold them both down...... they are now back in Southampton and disembarking ...one of the crew members greet them asking if they could spare just 2 mins to fill out a questionnaire at the same time they both say Fuck off !...load the cases and head for home South Wales valleys ....all the way home not a word passed between them ....they turn the corner into their street drove down and guess what they saw


this is truly incredible









punch line coming up







nearly there

























14 pints of milk......tom forgot to tell the milkman !

[Devonian]

LOL!!

You fool, you've clearly spent far too long in that bath having glasses of cold water thrown over you!

[Mortblanc]

SS needs to watch his back, his wife has obviously found that if she slips some of her pain pills into his tea he is much easier to handle, but she is still letting him lose on the computer.

He spent a whole day bumping two year old dead threads in every second forum section and now this!

[Skean Dhude]

I suppose it is a story about prepping. Being aware of the unexpected and taking care. Who didn't guess the mutt was going overboard right at the start. Life is hard, it's even harder if you are stupid. Also, rushing and forgetting to do things which causes you extra costs and potential risk. Someone might have known they were away and burgled the place.

[Straight Shooter]

Well MB its like this mate, however you view prepping or survival we all need to chill and have a Laugh now and then...take my case..i do joke a lot ..its how i am built its me, now some may take my manor has ....not serious about this lot at all...not true... in fact its the very opposite..... or you could think "its just a lark ...a fad i am in ...even a platform for my own personal use to do and say what i like when it suits me....if i can get away with it that is.... this is a bit true i must admit, but i would rather be the way i am..i feel no inclination to empress any of you with how smart and aware i am (even if that could be possible ) which it is not...take a look at the history of any of my threads or posts...not by any stretch of a superior nature are they....i cannot offer that much and i know it well enough, but there again i cannot come over as a smarty arse either ...and dismiss some ones attempt to try to offer something to the discussion and this forum..in an attempt to convey to... all... how clever and deep thinking individual i am.....with a view of always being right and have no time to listen to any other view than your own...people just get pissed off with that attitude....and leave...its not worth the action, you say i spent all day reposted old out of date threads ...no ...i spent about 30 mins is all ...WHY....because most stuff posted is not of much interest and not real issues for me...MaryN posts i like because they are REAL not some crap with lots of links to back up the view....see look i can prove my view....then the link ...who cares...if i wanted links or stats i would look for them....or is this supposed to impress us all and reinforce the standing of the point of view of the author....for me its about ordinary people trying to do the best because they are more aware than most...some have suggested other forums might be better...i disagree ...this forum was really good...for me ..i do not surf the net for others....you would have to be insane..just my view....everything is here...all you need is right here in front of you..there is no need for anything more... than here ...what is needed is people who WANT to be here and show some respect to others...and not jump all over someone because they feel a bit superior and to far up their arse for their own good. In the end it could well end up... talking to yourself with no audience at all ...or you could inspire debate on USEFUL stuff every day stuff....like it used to be on here ....or ultimately just fuck off altogether WHAT DO YOU WANT its UP TO YOU!....if we cannot hold on to good members what remains we have to work with...not against them... what,s the point? if anyone feels being here is beneath them or its hard work not worth the time or action then by all means fuck off ! out of it....if you agree or disagree with my view ...who cares....not me....think for yourselves there is no need for allies here is something i have learnt....life can change in an instant ...your world can be turned to deep shit ...overnight....for a load of reasons...normally life it self ...so excuse me when things change back to good shit i do what i do best have a laugh....try it.

---

P.S. new addition to my preps update.....new dentures...i will test drive them and get back to you all....yea i know real serious shit..sorry no links.

[Steve]

If TSHTF, someone who can tell a joke and make people laugh will be guaranteed a meal and a bed somewhere.

[bigpaul]

they were called Jesters in the old days. come SHTF I don't think you'll have much to laugh at.

[Skean Dhude]

BP, Not at first but people adapt and a storyteller is always welcome.

SS, Being cheerful keeps your spirits up and also helps cheer up those around you. A good survival trait.