Office Fitness Workout 'Fun'

[Scythe13]

Okay guys and gals, let's get ready to feel the burn! Are you all ready? [insert sound of cheering people hyped about a workout].

Okay everyone, time for the office tone-up!!!

HAHA, I'm kidding. I hate all that workout video stuff. I'm not against them. If they're your thing and they help you train and stay fighting fit, that's cool with me. They're just not my thing.

Many of us have office jobs, sat on our butts, watching our waist lines become more like coast-lines. Not ideal post SHTF fitness!

So, how can you stay in the office and improve on your fitness? There are hundreds of ways. I'm just going to outline a few here. Please note, acts of violence and office distruction do not count as 'working out'. You cannot throw the printer out the window and say you were pumping weights. Neither can you smack your boss for being an idiot, and call it boxing training (sorry BeardyMan, you'll have to find another excuse).

First off, you will need to master 2 important skills. 1. Not grunting and showing that you're in pain. Number 2, facial control. Think of it as being able to have a pokerface while your body is in pain and aching. Oh, one more, you'll have to learn to put on anti-persperant, as it's getting hotter and the sweat from your brow might well make you look super nervous or something like that.

Okay, on with the workout.

Exercise 1. Chair Leg-Tension.

The idea here is to push down through the heels of your feet and take as much pressure off your bum as possible, without raising up. You need to control this well, maybe lean forward and pretend there is something really intense you're reading on the screen. Remember to always keep a straight back though.

Exercise 2. Chair Arm-Tension.

With your arms at 90degrees. forearms flat on a surface (table/desk/chair arms), you want to add pressure downwards through your palms, either on the table or on your chair arms. The idea is to put the tension through your triceps. You can couple this exercise with the leg-tensions and 'levetate' off your chair. Try and hold this as long as possible.

Exercise 3. Stealth Tree Hugs.

No, I don't mean sneak off in your lunch break and have a bit of inappropriate fun in the local park...wait, that sounded VERY WRONG! I just meant....
At your desk, while reading whatever dribble is on the screen, put your hands in a praying position, palms together, then lower them so that they're together, but resting on your desk. With your elbows out, you want to push your palms harder together. You should feel your chest contract, if you do this correctly. This can be done for extended periods of time, or you can do 'sets' of presses, e.g. 10 presses, of 3 seconds a time. This principle of 'sets' can be done through all of the exercises.

Exercise 4. Crafty Crunches.

This is a beauty and can make conversation 'interesting' at times. The idea is to sit upright in your chair, and try to contract your abs, by exhailing all the air from your lungs and 'crunching' your hips upwards. WOW, this will hit you hard if you're not used to it. Try and hold the 'exhaled' position for around 5 seconds to begin with. Do this as a set of up to 5 reps to start. Try and work up to 3 sets of 10 reps of 10 seconds a rep. Take 2 breaths between each crunch. On the second breath, the exhale will be the start of the next crunch.



That's about it for now. I'm in the office now, and I don't think it looks 'normal' me doing these exercises to try and better explain them.

If you have any ideas of other 'fun' office exercises, please let me know.

Oh, and for the super adventurous, you could opt for one of those small pedal machines, and set it up underneath your desk. Just be careful of the banging noise of your knees on the dest, and of your inevitable swaying from side to side, when you start getting tired.

Enjoy

[BeardyMan]

I work with many civil servants. If I hit every idiot in the office I'd never get to do any work...

I'd add: take the stairs rather than the elevator.
If you smoke, when you pop out for a fag, don't just stand and smoke, walk and smoke (e-cig obviously). You can cover quite a distance over the day.
Don't email your colleagues, get up and go and speak to them.

Sometimes I spend 12 hours at work, I try to spend as little time as possible at my desk, so I walk round the office for 5 minutes every hour, on the hour, looking busy, or wandering round the grounds.