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Marriage/Relationships
15 June 2014, 07:25,
#1
Marriage/Relationships
This is an odd one, but probably well worth paying attention to for a prepper.

The strength of a marriage is very important to any survival situation. Obviously there are those marriages where a wife will stand by her husband in the middle of the street ready to fight! That is a solid unit in itself. But also the complete opposite of what I'm going to chat about.

Sorry if these seems pessimistic, but the end result is positive and helpful.

Of marriages, over 50% break up and of them around 95% is because of money problems (ironically nearly everyone vows 'for richer or poorer'. How cheap spoken words are). So clearly that's not a good thing. Infact, I guess it could well be an expensive thing if there's a house involved.

No, I'm not going to preach the benefits of prenups.

The thing is, if there is a crisis situation, the increased stress on the relationship, the pressure, and so much more, will/could cause major issues within the relationship. Unless you can show a united front and agree on courses of action, then your chances of staying together and surviving could be compromised.

For the bachelor, bachelorette, or happily divorces, you're welcome to sing a happy song. For those happily married where your relationship has already gone through hell and high-water, you can do the same. But for those whose marriage has been untested, it's worth taking note.

PLEASE do not think I am advocating that I am any kind of relationship guru. I am not Dr Phil, neither am I Jeremy Kyle. I am far from either of them, and I'm certainly not as well paid haha.

The thing is, WTSHTF, a relationship will be tested pretty strongly. As long as you're in agreement with certain courses of action, then things are looking good. We have already agreed complete dictatorship if there's a major event. However, if you do not have agreements in place, if you do not have the same moral 'hardness' or fortitude, then you could both be standing on rocky ground. The real trick is to have a united front, be in agreement, and be ready for the difficulties ahead.

Providing you at least know and expect certain things to happen in super high stress situations, then you'll be ready to weather the storm much better than most.
Dissent is the highest form of Patriotism - Thomas Jefferson
Those who sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither - Benjamin Franklin
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15 June 2014, 08:23,
#2
RE: Marriage/Relationships
The Survivalist paradigm can be a rude awakening from the comfortable existence we have been used to. If both partners are not fully on board it can create tensions. Just look at how many threads there have been on the subject of resistant spouses.

Although many see an urgent need to get prepared, balance is important. Balance needs to be achieved between living for today, and preparing for uncertain times tomorrow. Too much preparing can make Jack-the-Prepper a dull boy ( or girl)!
72 de

Lightspeed
26-SUKer-17

26-TM-580


STATUS: Bugged-In at the Bug-Out
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15 June 2014, 15:18,
#3
RE: Marriage/Relationships
very true, to much or going on to much can make jack a very dull boy.
Survive the jive (youtube )
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15 June 2014, 18:45, (This post was last modified: 15 June 2014, 18:48 by Mortblanc.)
#4
RE: Marriage/Relationships
I do not see the OP as the age old question of "Is your spouse on board?"

It seems more of a "How is you spouse going to react after SHTF?" question.

How is she going to react after the event and what are you going to do if the reaction is not what you consider "positive".

What do you do if you shoulder your BOB for the big trip to the "wilderness" and she looks at you and says "Not even if hell freezes over, and the kids stay here too!"

Example #2; Could you hand her a firearm and tell her to stand in the window and cover you while you parley with an unknown trader at the roadside and feel you were protected?

Or even better, is she going to sit in place eating you rice and beans when she discovers there is a guy down the road with pork, mutton, fresh milk and canned veggies.

The % of divorces over money is not quite at the 95% rate, but it is a big factor and seems bigger if that is the focus of ones life and that of the spouse.

Men look at money as an object in itself, women look at the perception of security money buys. That perception of security might change after SHTF, but it might not change as rapidly as you wish.

Post SHTF she may still look at a big house with flashy cars in the drive and be impressed, while you look at the same and know there is no fuel in the tanks and wonder how much wood it takes to heat the place.

If you have a good one let her know you appreciate her.
__________
Every person should view freedom of speech as an essential right.
Without it you can not tell who the idiots are.
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15 June 2014, 19:56, (This post was last modified: 15 June 2014, 19:58 by CharlesHarris.)
#5
RE: Marriage/Relationships
Advertisement in local newspaper:

WANTED- WOMAN, to tend garden, clean house, catch fish, cook game. Garden tools, mop, broom, axe and splitting maul provided. Own dog, fishing kit, boat and motor a plus. Send picture of dog, boat and motor first letter. .....

I should have added a smiley 8-)

73 de KE4SKY
In
"Almost Heaven" West Virginia
USA
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17 June 2014, 02:38,
#6
RE: Marriage/Relationships
You guys should pay close attention to my worlds, I was married for 40 years.

Five of them were very happy!
__________
Every person should view freedom of speech as an essential right.
Without it you can not tell who the idiots are.
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17 June 2014, 13:19, (This post was last modified: 17 June 2014, 13:21 by BeardyMan.)
#7
RE: Marriage/Relationships
Thankfully my missus falls into this category:

Quote:Obviously there are those marriages where a wife will stand by her husband in the middle of the street ready to fight!

We've spoken about how things would work should TSHTF, and we're in agreement on the best course of action. If she wasn't though, it would be a matter of sticking with her regardless.
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17 June 2014, 20:14,
#8
RE: Marriage/Relationships
My own example is too typical. I was married for 20 years, the first ten when times were good, and she could live the fairytale in her imagination, were fine. Then when times got tough, I was out of work for a year, scrimping to get by, the part where it says, "for richer or poorer" became confused.

Her perception was quite different from reality, and suffice to say, my cutting up the credit cards before she run us into financial ruin was the best thing I ever did. As was accepting a new job 1000 km away and sending her home to Mother. I best leave it there, because the rest is easy enough to figure out without saying anything unkind. Sometimes you must let go of the drowning man to save yourself, and I survived.

73 de KE4SKY
In
"Almost Heaven" West Virginia
USA
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17 June 2014, 20:30,
#9
RE: Marriage/Relationships
Relationships are funny things, aren't they? They can change from being strong and secure to being tenuous and anxious in a second, usually as a result of some event or crisis. I have known my OH for some time now; I know him inside out, as he does me. He has stepped up to the plate for me so many times, and I would do the same for him. In a real crisis I suspect we would both be dealing with different aspects - he is very good at some things, and I am better at others. There would be no dictatorship (sorry, Scythe, had a little chuckle there), but I would be 100% confident that we would be going in the same direction. I consider myself very fortunate, and try very hard not to take him for granted. Having said that, I would not hesitate to challenge something I felt was wrong - hope he would do the same.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
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18 June 2014, 09:45, (This post was last modified: 18 June 2014, 09:46 by bigpaul.)
#10
RE: Marriage/Relationships
an event will either make a relationship stronger or it will tear it apart, there wont be any middle ground, I can see a lot of (especially NON prepper) relationships going "up the swannee" during any SHTF event.

I've been there TWICE before myself.
Some people that prefer to be alone arent anti-social they just have no time for drama, stupidity and false people.
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