UK defence poliy going badly wrong

[NorthernRaider]

UK military formation as of Nov 2014

Ist UK Accountants Division tasked with ensuring all expense includes funds for compensating any enemy forces we kill
3rd UK Equality Brigade tasked with ensuring diversity, equal rights, multi culturalism and sexual preferences are maintained in combat
5th Political Correctness Battalion ensuring any British soldier who opens fire first is fully prosecuted and imprisoned
7/9th Regiment of back stabbers ensuring any soldier nearing the point of earning a full pension is quickly made redundant
69th Spec ops(no longer called Black ops as its deemed racist) unit ensuring a constant supply of Gay Rights leaflets are sent to the front
3rd combined PR division tasked with ensuring the MOD London officers on TV always look good in front of the camera
17 Polo Battalion one has to maintain SOME standards for the Blues and Royals
6th Armoured Skateboard Division which replaces the UKLF Yeomanry with more suitable transport.
The ACC ensuring all food is Vegan, Organic, Gluten Free, Halal, Kosher, low Fat and not offensive to foreign troops
Ist Batt The Green Eco Warriors tasked with fixing any flora and fauna damaged during training
The Household Cavalry ( where officers go to fill in the time between Sandhurst and becoming an MP)

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Mind you look what they are up against

The Al Havya Ootsyde the evil Geordie terrorist group known for their international whippet smuggling and suicide ferret attacks.
They are infamous for their Parmo IEDS (Improvised Edible Delicacies) obtained from their southern allies in the foothills of the Tees Valley.
They are currently being monitored for their use of WMDs (Wicked Mucky Devices) such as the hideous RPG ( Rocket Propelled Gerbil).
When killed in combat members of the AHO believe they go NOT to HEAVEN ON EARTH but HEBBURN ON TYNE where they get 74 Virgin bottles of ice cold Newcastle Brown ale.