A bit of a Dilemma

[MaryN]

Happy New Year to you all. Hope you all enjoyed the holidays.

I have just suffered through an excruciating weekend, and it has changed my mind about one or two things.

I recall saying, some months ago, that I would be ready to take in family members should things deteriorate to such an extent that society was under threat. I take it all back.

I have just spent a weekend in the company of my MIL and OH's older brother. They arrived up here for a brief break - I agreed to this, but crikey I wish I hadn't!

I think I'm a fairly kindly soul. My instinct is to draw people under my wing. That's quite nice, really. Right? Well, I'm an idiot. My OH is a lovely chap - he's been there, done that and has a get up and go attitude to life. By contrast his brother is a useless tw*t! A complete waste of time and space, and frankly if the SHTF I have him designated as potential dog food. To be fair, there is nothing awful to dislike about the chap, it's simply that he is useless. I'm not sure he knows how to turn a tap on - certainly I suspect he doesn't wash much. But, I now realise that, if things really go wrong, I simply could not deal with him. The stress of coping with a dangerous societal breakdown AND him (and his equally pointless family) would be too much.

Please, if I ever express any such kindly and idiotic desires to take in some of my family members again, REMIND ME of this posting.

[Devonian]

Made me smile and I wonder just how many of us have similar thoughts about our own relatives!!

[Highlander]

Oh Mary,.... a game changer indeed,.. but if its any consultation, I know just how you feel, we have one or two in our family that are just as bad

`A complete waste of time and space, and frankly if the SHTF I have him designated as potential dog food`....... I loved that, and such a great idea

[Scythe13]

On an up note, if he (and IQ deficient clan) are not going to be with you WTSHTF, then you'll have more food to share with those that you do take in.

[River Song]

"Consider it all joy ............."

[CharlesHarris]

When the worst happens, how are you going to deal with extended family? In my case extended family is limited. Brother his wife live 100 miles away. We are back-up locations for each other and share in our preps.

Friends? I have encouraged a few friends and neighbors to cooperate in preps. We have agreed to form a community for mutual benefit and protection and would pool our resources and supplies. Each family has agreed to take in the other in case of a house fire, etc, but the plan to stay put at home if it is safe to do so.

How to deal with outright refugees who are strangers?

I prefer to keep a low profile and won't encourage visitors unknown to me. I live alone and cannot maintain or defend my place in the long term, alone, as I get older. So, I must build a small community of dependable neighbors and friends. Strangers and the uninvited generally won't be welcome, but as Brigham Young said, "sometimes it's cheaper to feed the Indians than to fight them." This is a judgement call which factors your intelligence and risk assessment against chartity and humanity. The reality is that while I will assist the truly needy who don't appear to be a threat, I'll do my best to remain vigiliant and maintain OPSEC.

Can you defend and manage your current property with the people you have there now? No, I can't. That's why neighbors have planned together to develop a security plan, control ingress and egress from our neighborhood, establish communications and maintain neighborhood patrols and welfare checks.

Do you need more? Yes. Working on vetting people with needed skills and recruiting them....

Where are you getting them? Neighbors who are dependable and well known to me and a few close friends with useful skills who are trustworthy and loyal. But is someone is new to the neighborhood some detective work is needed. If they have a job which requires a current security clearance or a concealed weapon permit, that means they have passed a criminal background check and FBI background check.

How are you selecting them? Mostly through personal knowledge, trust and rapport developed through long association. Approaching persons with specific skills, volunteer fire, emergency medical, military, law enforcement, building trades, engineering and mechanical.

How are you sending others on their way? I've been thinking about "Danger Unexploded Ordinance" or biohazard quarantine signs, "PLAGUE - stay away!" with skull and crossbones 8-)

If you are taking on boarders?? If they are strangers NO! - There is sickness here! You do not want to be exposed, please go away.

Shoe on the other foot:

Same scenario except YOU are the refugee.

Your place no longer exists. . .

How do you link up with others to assist you and your family?

PACE planning, alternate locations and travel. Most important is a somewhat distant neighbor's farm within 10 miles, walking distance. Alternate drive locations at 50, and 100 miles. Need to determine location and routing for one farther away

What are your standards? Staying alive, healthy and free.

What are you willing to give up to hopefully gain some security? Am willing share my skills and stuff with like minded people who can reciprocate with things I in turn need.

Comments or discussion?

[Skean Dhude]

Mary, At least you didn't find out the hard way. Now you have to decide what to do if he just turns up anyway.

[bigpaul]

Mary, SIL is exactly the same, complete waste of space-hasn't got a clue, which is surprised seeing the responsible job she had(senior social worker)she is completely clueless as to "normal" life, dosent read a paper or watch the news, WTSHTF she is going to be caught completely off guard.

[Jonas]

Mary, I just had a sip of soda when I started reading your post. You owe me a new keyboard, but I did get the monitor fairly clean.

Seriously, I don't know how you'll handle it, but I have a son and a daughter (and their respective spouses) who can move down here any time and under any conditions. I have two sons and two daughters who will be shot on sight if they set one foot into my yard (but knowing them, they'll just stay put waiting for the government to help - I hope).

[MaryN]

Well, I've had a day to ponder this - some of your comments made me laugh - but I realise I have wrong-footed myself by being "nice". I can see that the normal ties of family may well be short circuited by a serious societal breakdown, and I thought I would be able to deal with it. I admit I was wrong! I am now going to sit at the feet of the guru - BP!

Luckily, BIL does not drive, so the chance of him reaching this place easily (or at all) are low-ish, and if my OH shows any signs of weakening and going to collect him I shall simply handcuff him to the bed! I can not adequately describe to you the extent of BIL's incompetence. I was shocked by it - how the hell can someone be so useless. Seriously, I would have doubts about asking him to collect the eggs from the hen coop! He would be a drain on our resources and a complete liability. I am also stunned by my own realisation of how much of a mistake it would be to take him and thicko family in. Just goes to show how much of a wake-up call this Forum and the info on it has been.

Thanks Folks.