Caring for elderly relatives in an economic collapse

[Tibbs735]

I was wondering if anyone here had considered taking their parents in and caring for them during a slow slide economic collapse, in a system similar to that it places like Mexico, where the attitude is that your parents raise you and then you take care of them in their old age.

Obviously this would require a lot of prior planning, possible over decades as you would have to structure your life to allow for that flexibility, possibly having an extended family in one house to allow for rotation of chores.

I ask this because my mum has half-jokingly said that she intends to move in with me in the future and be my cleaner/housekeeper in exchange for not being put in a home.

[Skean Dhude]

In the olden days we used to look after our parents. Some countries still do that with several generations under one roof. In the Uk we are so tied up in our own requirements that we no longer do that. Sending them into a home seems to be the British way.

Well, I've planned for my parents moving in. They may be getting on a bit but they will contribute what they can.

My parents think I am crazy for keeping chickens and the changes I have made to my lifestyle, and they don't really know all of what I do. They think a collapse is coming but think it will be after they pop off.

They don't live too far away, in a small community of older people in a cul de sac and it can be walked, even by my parents, in 20 minutes I'm confident that they will be OK at the start of an event where I can arrange for them to get here if necessary by radio. A PMR works fine over the distance we are talking about.

The only issue I have is they will then start nagging me about my choices. No change there then.

[Midnitemo]

Partners elderly parents less than a mile away,they will come to us no question although they are very old and in poor health so I wouldn't think they'd cope for very long.....I can say that cos she doesn't read this and I am very pragmatic.

[Jace]

Here in China it is still common for young married couples to live with the husband's parents, although a lot less than before due to changing attitudes and the fact that many people work several provinces away from their families. Its actually more common that in the latter case, where the parents on one side will come to stay with the young couple once they have kid(s), basically providing free housekeeper and childcare, although with the unstated proviso that when they get on a bit you will be looking after them.

My in-laws regularly stay with us (to look after the kids), and its not too bad. I actually think that when TSHTF I will want them close by, as some of their skills and experiences (from growing up in what was basically a SHTF situation in the 50s and 60s) will come in mighty handy.

[Scythe13]

WHAT?!?! Tibbs, I thought you'd left prepping for good and were getting rid of all your gear?!?! haha

The caveman era saw the young looking after the older members of the tribes, same as the Inca and Mayans.

One thing of note, if you do plan for them, check out the expected medical conditions in your family, and that all people get, e.g. thyroid problems, oestio for women, diabetes T2, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc.

Then start stacking medication for them.

[Tarrel]

Already made the move. My mum moved into a self-contained apartment in our garden last October, and is living there independently. We pop in to each other for a cup of tea most days, and we're standing by to provide an escalating level of care until it gets beyond us. (In which case, hopefully, we'll have someone come in to help). The move was at her request. She gave up her council flat and is now paying us the equivalent rent to pay down the costs of the conversion of an outbuilding to an apartment. She's 85.

I strongly believe that it is our responsibility to look after our old folk. It drives me up the wall when I hear of people complaining that their parents are having to sell their house in order to fund care in a care home. "What about my inheritance?!". Simple choice; take the responsibility and gain the inheritance, or pay to offload the problem to someone else. But you can't have it both ways.

[Mortblanc]

Moving in with my kids would put a real crimp in my lifestyle!

I am not sure they could keep up with me and I really hate having to check in and out and account for the nights I don't come home..

[John]

I suppose in a way I am fortunate in as much that mine and the wife's have passed on.
But the oldies, and many of us are getting that way, have a lot to offer. We are about the last generation who saw a steam train at proper work, not just on a vintage line. We are the last that saw a bottle of milk delivered to the door step and the bottles returned, early recycling. We are the last who know how to light a fire in the grate or boiler.

There are many more but we know how it was done before....so we have a lot to offer even if we are old and doddery.

[Steve]

Like many older people, my parents don't expect major SHTF in their lifetime, and have opted for a nice house with small garden in an expensive area. They live well on income from shares and investments.

If things go really pear shaped and their income stream is wiped out they will be in a bad situation, they will have to move in with me, along with my kids and their families. I'm lucky to have plenty of space to build, space to plant, and sufficient water but energy use would be a problem. Dad will have to give up his prize-winning garden in favour of the polytunnel, Mum used to make most of my clothes when I was a kid, so she'll have to remember those skills.

[bigpaul]

parents and uncle's and aunts have all shuffled off this mortal coil, I've got a married female cousin about 20 miles away and her brother lives in Australia, apart from that an older half sister in Berkshire. wife has daughter, son in law and grandchildren 25 miles away but they are a modern family, too busy with their own lives to come and visit us. oh + a stupid sheeple sister in law who lives 13 miles away. none of these am I prepping for!