Lost a hen.

[Mortblanc]

I lost another hen yesterday.

I am not sure what kind of predator got her, she was there for her morning feed and never showed up in the afternoon.

It is just one of the hazards one faces when raising stock.

[Tarrel]

Maybe she'll be back. Some of ours sometimes go "walkabout" for a day or two.

[bigpaul]

normally around here its a fox, I have lost count of the number of kills I come across in a country lane, usually a pigeon or a rock dove is the target.

[Straight Shooter]

Probably being interrogated by JADEHELM operatives MB ! ....sick bastards are probably surrounding the poor hen with packets of sage and onion stuffing !

[Mortblanc]

Alright I think you might be onto something there SS.

Sunday evening I had a serious talk with my last remaining hen about the state of the world and what needed to be done for the situation and Monday morning I awoke to find the poor bird gone!

I had not seen her for 4 days when this morning she showed up in the front garden bedraggled, emaciated and terrified.

I fed her and gave her fresh water and after eating and drinking she ran and hid under the porch, where she remained for the rest of the day.

I am certain MI5 or the CIA got her and misused her, probably with truth serum and waterboarding, in an effort to extract my intricate and exceptional plan for setting straight the universe.

Apparently they warned her to keep her mouth shut because she refuses to speak to me about anything that happened in that four day absence.

That or the aliens got her, then brought her back.

[Skean Dhude]

I would guess it was aliens. Our government wouldn't have managed to find their way back.

[Straight Shooter]

Bastards !.....show no sympathy MB...she has been turned...she is now a double agent.....assume she,s given a full account of your guns, hidden stashes, your movement schedules and full plans of your home.....you must despatch her son....i know this is hard....you simply have no choice....check for listening devices....restock with day old chicks or POL out of state of course !
hands across the water pal....i feel your pain.....GOD BLESS AMERICA

[Mortblanc]

I have been preparing for this day to come for over two decades and feel confident that my protective measures have been effective.

First, I never allow the chickens inside the house. That way they had no access to the inventory nor had the combination to the safe. While they can assume that the sound of the TV comes from the living room I also have a TV in the bedroom just to keep them confused. They have also never been in the store room and have no knowledge of the food stores.

Second, I paint most of my guns black, if they are not already black. This confuses both chickens, neighbors and wives since they assume any black gun I leave the house with is the same one I had yesterday and not a new device.

Third, I also use a cache system which requires that I dig four of five holes and only place items in one of the holes, and since chickens can only count to three I am assured that they are not aware of which holes I have actually placed goodies into. Come to think about it, I can't remember which holes I placed items into either!

Still, I am afraid I can not take any chances. I will take this last poor hen up the road to the neighbor, who keeps a flock of chickens, and make a trade. The poor thing will barely come from under the porch and she is not clucking and chattering as she normally does. I fear she has been traumatized permanently and will never recover. She will now tell the aliens anything they wish to know at the simple threat of another probing and I can not allow her free range any longer.

Its now off to the little old lady up the road.

I will not kill and eat her. Not due to any sentimental attachment, but due to the fact that this hen is 4 years old and would be tough as nails. Even in a pressure cooker all I would get would be strings of tough and chewy meat. Besides, she is a small bird, barely a pound or so minus the feathers, and hardly worth the effort.

[Steve]

Sensible precautions Mort, might I add a few ? First, blindfold the hens and spin them around a few times as they leave for their new home, this will prevent them from logging directions back to your place. Secondly, keep them in the dark for a few days beforehand, they will soon lose track of time and be unable to estimate how far they have travelled.

Never, ever, let your chickens see your preps. They are notoriously loose-lipped and will blab to everybody they meet. It's a fact that UK security agencies routinely interrogate chickens, and they have developed questions that will trick the unwise bird into giving away your details.

The best way to protect your security has been featured in many spy movies, eat the evidence.....