The Chinese Motorcycle

[Mortblanc]

Many times during the summers forum activity drops due to people getting outside and doing things.

One of the forums I follow never takes a summer break. It is the one labeled "How to Fix a Chinese Motorbike".

There is always activity there with at least ten or twelve discussions, often about repetitive topics, such as:

The Honda, Kawasaki, Suzuki, Yamaha dealer (take your pick) will not work on my bike and it is supposed to be an exact clone!!!!

I can't find neutral! (closely followed by)

I'm stuck in 1st! (stuck in 5th is a close second)

Where is the cumquat separator, I heard if it breaks the bike won't start.

The wheel fell off my mail order motorbike, where is the nearest warranty station? (it's somewhere north of Hong Kong)

My bike won't start, what's the matter with it?

How do I lower my bike? (for all the short people)

How do I raise my bike? (for all the tall people)

And the most common of them all....

I was out riding my bike and it quit running, why did it do that?

The really strange thing to me is that the American consumer is so spoiled by "no questions asked refunds and replacements" that they expect a motorbike made in China, shipped in a pressed paper box packed in a container across the Pacific Ocean, to arrive with a service technician to assemble and trouble shoot each and every problem.

When they stumble against the brick wall of DIY that passes an IKEA allen key and a pressed sheet metal spanner they go insane. They consider the ownership of socket wrenches, box end spanners, spark plug spanners and torque wrenches as "having to go out and buy extra stuff" and they expect a refund for needing these things.

Of course there is a tool kit under the seat, but most never read the owners manual and discovered them.

I actually read a rant from one rider that demanded that his chosen manufacturer send a technician out with the proper parts, tools and diagnostic equipment to find and fix the rattle in his motor housing. Of course he expected this to be free of charge, and immediate. In fact, he gave the company three days to meet his demands or he was going to call the Better Business Bureau. (an American complaint service with absolutely no power other than pointing a "shamey finger")

Now remember that these people convinced themselves that paying 1/4 the price for a Chinese motorbike cloned from some Jap design (no one ever knows which Jap design) was a good and cost effective decision. No dealer, no parts supply, no service department and no help other than trolling the internet, but worth the risk.

So when I am bored I go there and read the desperate cries for help, and laugh. I especially laugh at the ones asking where they can take their motorbike for repair and service, since none of the reputable dealers will touch them. If you adjust a spoke an American will hold you responsible for every failure of the machine from that point forward!