no longer children

[Mortblanc]

When I was growing up the presence of an adult child in the home was unheard of. By 20-25 every person was out of the parents home.

I personally would have gone insane if I had been forced to spend another day in the home of my parents. Their way or no way, complete knowledge of movements was demanded and complete obedience was expected. When I went into the military I found it very easy to deal with the rules and regs after living with my parents for 20 years. Boot camp was easier than a weekend at home.

We wold do anything to get out of the house, including sharing a house with a half dozen flat-mates and working two jobs to pay the bills.

Right now I have several friends that have adult children still living at home and they are not just out of school, they are 25-35 years old.

They work good paying jobs, have good automobiles and even have finished graduate school in some cases.

What they do not have is a long relationship with a member of the opposite sex string enough to require a separate domicile, children of their own or any plans for development of either.

I am not talking about deadbeat or drug addled kids or about those sob stories where the girl ran off with a moron, had three kids, and then returned to live in her childhood bed room with her family and have G-dad pay the bills.

The kids I am speaking of were considered high achievers and potential leaders in their fields. At least all fields except their personal lives.

Is this lack of independence a sign of the development of a personality that will tolerate anything to avoid personal responsibility, or is it a sign that parents have become too lenient and made the home way too comfortable for their adult kids?