Personal protection

[Straight Shooter]

I have for the past few months locked myself in my workshop....working away on some prototypes for self protection , because of resent ratcheting up of of perceived dangers ......I had to do something for god sakes ....I mean no action would be foolhardy and no response would be criminal.

My first effort was the (Bullshit helmet ) made from plywood and dressed in chicken wire with a coating of aluminium foil ....well it did work for a bit wild child did the first trial ...in front of the six o clock news ! ....then things went a bit pear shaped .... lack of 360 degrees vision impaired her movement .....resulting in her crashing into the Welsh dresser and taking out a vase .....which was one of our wedding presents .....it was three weeks before she uttered a word ....and they were not sort of nice words.

was I put off ! Hell no ! I returned to the workshop undeterred , and set about project 2 with renewed vigour .....and a new concept was born ...I .. I worked like a dog and through the night .....by morning the mark 2 (Bull shit helmet was born ) ......out with the plywood ! Enter one of our motorbike helmets ......the new design looked even better and more professional.....to the whole external face of the helmet I screwed in screws every 10 mm .......I stripped out some electrical cable to get at the copper wire and proceeded to wind this around every screw in a nice lattice patern ......wild child was a be reluctant at first ....hesitant even ...but agreed to the trial because she really loves me .....stood in front of the television at the stroke of six she donned the helmet ....it’s a bit tight she said ......so a gave some assistants giving to top a little tap ....a scream rang out Arrrrrrgh my head .....I’m bleeding you stupid bas....d ....it soon became apparent that the three inch screws were a bit to long ..I offered up a instant remedy of smaller screws .....this was instantly refused out of hand .....I dressed the wounds myself ....and moved on ...as I lay awake most of that night pondering on what to try next ...listing to the rhythm of wild child complaining about her sore head ...I drifted into a totally new concept .......the following day I returned to the workshop and got stuck in ......the project 3 was born .....I will build not one but two sets of ( Bullshit Deflectors ) ....made from ear defenders I added a metal dish each side held in by three short screws both sides ...just in time as it happens for the six o clock news ....I demonstrated mine first showing wild child how to put them on .....after “you can f..k right off ! “ was got past ....she donned hers ......as we sat looking at the news ......we did not hear bongo bongo variant at all ! .....in fact any political messaging was muted .......ok we do get some double takes whist shopping in the supermarkets or driving the truck ....but hey ! ....we have been bullshit free for some weeks now ....I just wanted to share with you our success ......the latest is I am now working on a fully collapsible variant that can be sold in the pound shops so everyone can be saved and make my fortune at the same time .....yep .....living the dream ! .u

[bigpaul]

I assume that post is "tongue in cheek"!!

[Mortblanc]

No Paul it is ,every bit true!

SS sent me pictures of the progress and I made some advisement on changes to the copper latticework for the Mk2 model.

It may well be the only salvation for anyone still watching the evening news on any channel or delayed playbacks thereof on streaming devices!

As is, it provides a fine method of recycling old motorbike helmets that have gone out of date. Few people realize they have a definite shelf life of 5 years. That will keep the price down for quick turnover as a pound shop item.

[Pete Grey]

MOST IMPORTANT - The copper lattice must be properly earth bonded.

We have a 3ft x 1in diameter copper rod driven through the living room floor at chateau grey for this.

[Straight Shooter]

Yes Pete .......MB also pointed that out.......however in version 3 the mini antenna I fitted to the ear protectors frame ....directly at dead centre cures this problem as Lightspeed said it would ( thanks pal ) it does give hands free operation as you said it would....as soon as the first production run has been completed for the collapse pocket model i will send you a few pairs each as I promised ......I am on with the website build right now ! .

[Pete Grey]

Thanks SS we will beta test them for you, but please make sure they’re ready for the next round of political party conferences.

[Straight Shooter]

Yes I think that is achievable Pete and I will do my very best to make it happen pal ! ....I am having many PM’s with regards default settings most of which are coming from over the pond ....so I will address that particular question here ......yes the equipment does come with a Biden / Harris default as standard ......as insisted by MB as one of his recommended defaults ....this was extended for a global market and will operate anywhere on the planet this was done to save humanity ......if I am nominated for a Nobel prize for peace ....I will fail to mention the help and assistance that I received from the members here and claim all the glory All for myself .

[Mortblanc]

LS also recommended that there be a motion detector added based on the "If their mouth is moving they are lying" clause.

This has truly been a joint forum effort of international cooperation due to the world wide need for cheap and accessible BS detection since the public insists on continuing to watch the mainstream media product.

[Straight Shooter]

Just received your PM Pete .....and yes I agree a vertical and horizontal bar creating a cross segregating into four quadrants on the metal plates is a valued point ....as you say one quadrant for incoming bull shit and the other three acting as exhaust for rapid dispersal, I like the idea that all quadrants work independent of each other with no one quadrant dedicated to incoming or out going .....many thanks Pete ! Brilliant work ! Forwarding your plan right now to the production team .

[Straight Shooter]

Yes indeed he did MB , that sensor is built into the mini antenna and ready to go and now that Pete is onboard I think it’s safe to say success is assured and our joint efforts can and will prevent bullshit on a global scale is not just a dream ......but a reality achieved by this forum ........feelin gooood !