|
Scenario 7.1 (the remix)
This is worth a read. Plus a moral to the story and a debating point at the end.
Scenario 7.1 (The Non Rifle)
Dammit, Dammit, Dammit, he muttered under his breath as he searched by torch (not flashlight, for plagiarism reasons) through the dark corners of the sports shop, there’s almost nothing I can use she said to herself.
"What good is a shotgun or a rifle without ammo is something I should have paid more attention to years ago" she thought to herself. The silly cow.
The problem was the best choice in times of plenty is not necessarily the best choice in times of poop-fanning-spraying. Her UZI was a great hunting rifle for strafing red and brown deer, but it is not much use for fending off gangs of body-armoured prepper's, especially as I can not source any more ammunition. I'm such a silly goose! I should have, at the very least looted a reloading machine. The problem was not helped by the fact that not only were her tampons running low, but also the only other gun she had was a pump action 12 bore, also in dire need of ammo too. After raiding a pharmacist and a HSS Hire Equipment Industrial shop place for a smorgasbord of tools including a foot cranked fuel pumper, and a new boat-load worth of tamps, she headed back to her pink VW Beetle and set off the petrol station after a quick 9 point turn, that sill had some petrol she could liberate for her Herbie Car.
After weeks of map studying and endless driving around blocked roads littered with abandoned vehicles she found a farmer's supply site that had a massive tank of red agricultural diesel that had not been nabbed. She quickly drove through the gates to pop off the padlock thus saving time as she did not have a pair of bolt cutters, and set too refilling her vehicle.
"A snazzy little find this Beetle was. Always wanted one, but my stupid husband never let me have one. Whose laughing now mate?!?!" But she needed more fuel capacity as much of her time would be exploring out of the way rural locations looking for somewhere to set up as her latest Glamping Site...and because she had a bad sense of direction (not being sexist, it's just our lovely fem-hero is a bit ditsy), and looking for other survivalists to join her. So inside of the van her jilly (like a Jerry, but pink) rigged camp bed sat on top of a row of 11 x 4.5 gallon Jilly cans plus another 3 cans ropped to the wide rear step at the back of the vehicle. Little did she realise this 'step' was actually a dent caused by reversing into the back of a lorry. This extra fuel gave her a better range and safety margin for her expeditioning, but it also slowed down her little pink bug. Every time she rested her head she thought to herself “There’s no way on earth I would do this if I was carrying my man around with me, and all his silly cans of diesel instead of petrol. Look whose still alive and who isn't!†The fact that she was not moving at this moment caused her little concern. She managed to roll the car down hill and use downward momentum to get her moving.
By early evening she was still going down the road looking for somewhere to laager (no wait, she needs more than 1 car to laager.....okay...rum....) to pull in for the night. She liked to be parked up before dark in case her headlights gave away her position. She was not a fan of driving by moonlight either, and would have rather had full beams on, but hey, wouldn't we all. She also liked to be in place and settled down so she could look for signs of houses and buildings after dark (or even during dusk) in order to note places where other survivors could be living. Because if you're not a survivor, then you can't be living. She mused on this thought for a while.
While dusk was falling she had found a slightly overgrown lay-by on the side of a road about 151 feet up the side of a hill, it was ideal to back the pretty car into as it was almost completely obscured from vegetarians and the main road. She also realised she could not laager there, so was happy to just settle and make camp. 41 minutes later after a nibble to eat she decided on a quick stroll around her latest glamping place for the night, to not only ensure it was safe, but in order to relieve herself of the 4 cans of Diet-Pepsi she had consumed earlier in the day (greedy pig that she was, but also she no longer trusted tap water and had yet to find a good water filter, not realising the pharmacist from earlier would have presented plenty of opportunities and materials to build her own materials! Looks like she needs a lesson in survival...but she seems to be doing well so far).
Trotting carefully along the lay-by until it rejoined the road she could see quite clearly that no smoke or fires could be seen nearby. She realised it was too dark to see smoke anyway, but she couldn't smell it either. Something was not quite right, her spidey-sense was tingling. It was something about the topiary in front of her. Something seemed not quite right. Walking along the hedge she realised that the plants in one spot were different to the rest of the hedgerow! They did not colour coordinate...in the dark. Also it was not as high and looked as if something had knocked it down at some point quite recently.
Looking (women don't peer, they look) through the hedgerow perched about 41 ft down the slope was a wooden power pole thingy, an 11.5 KV pole to be precise (but she didn't know that) and rammed up against it in quite a rather bad way was a cop car. She elegantly climbed (again, women don't clamber) over the hedge and worked her way down to the panda (name for black and white police cars) which clearly had been going too fast when it left the road, were it not for good luck the car would have probably careered down the slope for another 101 yards and blown up when it hit the bottom of some massive canyon thing, in Northumberland, somewhere. But fortunately for the car and its occupants it had hit the power pole going from 71 to 0 mph in two second, airbags were not much use in this crash.
When she reached the vehicle which was once a reasonable condition copper 4x4 BMW X3 Estate Vehicle she could instantly see the three occupants were long dead, probably been there since the crash, she figured. Not many people usually stroll out of crashed cars she thought. Simultaneously she considered whether it was this crash that ruined the power lines that eventually brought society down. She figured otherwise. She elegantly meandered over and around the vehicle. Due to her lack of shopping, as of recent, she opted to make the vehicle into a Dorothy Perkins, and steal some stuff from it. Turns out our hero has a jagged past! She noticed that one of the dead police officers was wearing a tactical leg holster! It was empty but still a leg holster. This meant the vehicle was a Fire Arms Response Vehicle! But why would the firearms response vehicle be coloured like a normal police car? Aren't they usually coloured like civilian cars? She had stopped caring after 3 seconds of contemplation, and decided to go back to looting. At no point did she think the empty holster meant someone had beaten her to it and already taken the goods from the officer. This naive optimism might have paid off and offered our survivor the chance of possibly some useful pickings.
Reaching through the side window she pulled at the boot release then went to see what the boot contained, he found a large metal locked box bolted to the floor of the vehicle along with other items such as more torches (which was handy as her batteries were dying), traffic cones that reminded her of drunken nights on the town wearing a traffic cone as a hat, radios and assorted tactical gear. Using a flashlight he soon found the keys for the box. She knew police officers locked their lunch boxes tight! This was no exception. Something they even kept crisps in these boxes. But what she really wanted was a Whisper Gold.
On opening the box she found to his delight two .45 pistols and one 9mm MP5, the pistols said 1911 on them. She figured them to be antiques and probably not work. After trying to fire them off and being met by not even a trigger pull, she decided they didn't work and threw them away. If only someone had told her about the secondary safety on the grip of the gun. He also found 4 magazines (Hello, Closer, TV Times, and Vogue) as well as them, there were some packets of rounds, chambered in 9mm ammo plus cleaning kits. This was the security concern she had for her safety well and truly covered. That UZI would be up and ready again shortly. She moved the weapons to her pink-bug along with the tactical stuff and spare batteries. She spent the night getting use to the apocalypse fashions in the magazines she looted. She knew she would soon need to find how to strip, clean and maintain these weapons, that she went back down for, after throwing them down the hill) so at some point she would have to seek out the operators handbooks, possibly from a library...in America, but her geography was awful so she figured she would be there soon enough, if she kept heading East. After all, Florida was next to Northumbria, right? Anyhoo that could wait for now. Time to snooze.
After a nights sleep she woke thinking that actually the .45 pistols were ideal for his close quarters protection and she could bash people in the head with them, but the sandwiches were actually of limited use, kind of a one use item (but still a 100% better than eating rocks) but the finding of the guns got her to thinking. Police have 9mm weapons, soldiers on the other hand have different weapons, and those would be ideal for acquiring more sandwiches, back issues of TV Times, and more ammo for her beloved UZI (the woman is obsessed, trust me). Also, she was thinking about long range security and hunting. What she needed to do was to find TA centres or military bases that were fitted with armouries, but NOT main large scales bases. Thank goodness she knew they were marked down on the map. Hopefully all the soldiers were dead and no other survivors had already raided those places. If they had, her new insight into apocalypse fashions would allow her womanly charms to come into play. Ever seen that film Barbed Wire, with Pamela Anderson? She had, and that gave her an idea! Thus with that thought our erstwhile survivor set off again in search of a safe haven to try and redo her make-up.
Once her make-up was done, she became a deadly looking diva, with her pet UZI and pink VW Beetle.
I hope you all liked Scenario 7.1
Oh, the talking point/moral to the story....urm....don't underestimate women with UZI's! Talking point...should a woman attach herself to a dominant male in a survival situation, thus using her charms to survive? If so, what is the moral ground that woman holds? In WW2 the women that attached themselves to Nazi captains were greatly shunned. Would the same happen to women who attached themselves to powerful men?
p.s. if you liked the story, remember to like it. Great effort went into creating this whole story, from scratch!!!
p.p.s. please don't compare this story with Scenario 7 in side by side windows to notice whether there are subtle differences in what's going on.
p.p.p.s. This is just a bit of fun, and the moral of the story is at the end, so don't get insulted and all antsy in your pantsy if you're offended by the sincerest form of flattery.
Damn it, the first sentence has revealed my plagiarism! It was so well hidden until anyone starts reading!!! haha
Dissent is the highest form of Patriotism - Thomas Jefferson
Those who sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither - Benjamin Franklin
|
Search
Calendar
Help
