Chickens for Ground Clearance

[Straight Shooter]

A FOX STORY
Twas a Sunday morning about 26 years ago time was 6.30 ish a m at the SS ranch
SS laying in bed sleeping....wifey downstairs rustling up some bacon n eggs
The smell of which stiirred SS a bit
The silence shattered by wifey screeming for SS to comet quick ....followed by all three daughters screeming dad dad
Springing from the bed I run down staires trip up .....my arse catching the last four treads I reset my stance like inspector clouseou....What? What? I say......fox in chickens fox in chickhens! ......look out of window.....run out of cottage. Bollock naked ...picking up ....Bex Bissel carpet cleaner ...and throw it at the fox.....it fell short by 20 ft ....no more chickhens or the 2 ducks.........later.....I raid the freezer dig out some joints of meat ...hang them on the fence with some straining wire........back in the conservatory.......set a table up ....withe chair on top.....box of alphamax cartrages and my 12 gauge savage pump action .....this is war...... all set I lay in wait or sit in wait lts 8.30 pm ......11 pm....wify....come to bed! ......no i cry gunna kill the bastard ! .........1 a m ......phew ......sam the cat nearly gets it........ 2.20 a m dozing slightly I see the bastard ......lift the gun though the top sash window......in the rush to blow foxy away........I blew up the fucking drain pipe.......but I scarred the shit out of the fox.......and myself........then 3 screeming daughters begging me not to kill the fox......and wifey looking at the half empty bottle of grouse....the the glance.....the shaking back and forth of her head.....and the muttering......you are fucking nuts.........sorry T felt the need pal.