Lost a hen.

[Mortblanc]

I have been preparing for this day to come for over two decades and feel confident that my protective measures have been effective.

First, I never allow the chickens inside the house. That way they had no access to the inventory nor had the combination to the safe. While they can assume that the sound of the TV comes from the living room I also have a TV in the bedroom just to keep them confused. They have also never been in the store room and have no knowledge of the food stores.

Second, I paint most of my guns black, if they are not already black. This confuses both chickens, neighbors and wives since they assume any black gun I leave the house with is the same one I had yesterday and not a new device.

Third, I also use a cache system which requires that I dig four of five holes and only place items in one of the holes, and since chickens can only count to three I am assured that they are not aware of which holes I have actually placed goodies into. Come to think about it, I can't remember which holes I placed items into either!

Still, I am afraid I can not take any chances. I will take this last poor hen up the road to the neighbor, who keeps a flock of chickens, and make a trade. The poor thing will barely come from under the porch and she is not clucking and chattering as she normally does. I fear she has been traumatized permanently and will never recover. She will now tell the aliens anything they wish to know at the simple threat of another probing and I can not allow her free range any longer.

Its now off to the little old lady up the road.

I will not kill and eat her. Not due to any sentimental attachment, but due to the fact that this hen is 4 years old and would be tough as nails. Even in a pressure cooker all I would get would be strings of tough and chewy meat. Besides, she is a small bird, barely a pound or so minus the feathers, and hardly worth the effort.