Truly being alone

[bigpaul]

(27 August 2015, 14:07)Scythe13 Wrote: BP, I fear you are mixing up having time by yourself, because you choose it, and not having the option to be near other people.

You mentioned when you were a child. Did you have a family? If so, you were not TRULY alone. You had time by yourself, but you were not alone. Alone would be Mohgilli from the Jungle Book, days, weeks, months, and more, without even the option for human contact. That is being alone as a child. Playing in the woods by yourself is not even close to being alone. Having a family unit does not count as being truly alone. Going to school, even if you're a loner, does not count as being truly alone.

Not seeing any human life for prolonged periods of time, that is being truly alone.

Living by yourself and still going to the shops, driving on roads where there are other people, seeing a TV, hearing a radio, even chatting on a forum, would automatically cancel that person's 'alone' feelings. They might still feel lonely, but they are not alone.

If you work alone, then having a job suggests you get paid, which suggests you have customers, suppliers, etc. This means that person is not alone, as they interact with other people, e.g. customers, suppliers, accountants, and such.

Please, please, please, can we recognise the difference between having NOBODY around you, and thus NO OPTION to to see/hear/speak to another person….can we recognise the difference between that and choosing to hang out with nobody. If there is the availability of choosing to be by yourself or with other people, then you are not alone.

have it your own way mate, I KNOW in an emergency I can do without other people, I don't have the NEED that most do to be with others, I find most of the general public to be stupid and boring.

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comments like the above make me realise why I sometimes despise others.

[Devonian]

(27 August 2015, 14:07)Scythe13 Wrote: Please, please, please, can we recognise the difference between having NOBODY around you, and thus NO OPTION to to see/hear/speak to another person….can we recognise the difference between that and choosing to hang out with nobody. If there is the availability of choosing to be by yourself or with other people, then you are not alone.

Taking the above quote, then no one can really contribute to the discussion because it is virtually impossible for any of us to be in that position (at present).

Your own previous example of camping in the middle of nowhere on your own and fearing the giant mutant killer rats outside your tent, therefore isn't being 'Truly Alone' as that was a choice by you to be alone, as opposed to being truly alone.

As I've tried to say various times throughout this discussion, I agree that most people (sheeple) would struggle to be alone (I am not disputing that), BUT not everyone, we are after all, all different and I for one, together with BP, Mary and others I am sure, would have no issue at all in having no contact with others for extended periods of time, I do not need that contact, support or reassurance or whatever else from others.

There is a reason for the existence of the term 'Loner'.

[bigpaul]

there are miles of difference in someone who says "good morning" to their neighbour or "please" and "thank you" in the local shop to someone like a relative of our new neighbour who talks non stop for 12 hours a day every day and dosent even stop to draw breath, now that's the type I think Scythe was referring to. there is also a difference between not actually needing people and not being able to avoid them in normal life, as Dev said.

[Scythe13]

You're right about that Dev. Making my own choice to stay away from people for a while isn't really being alone. But it's more alone than staying in a village, or town, or city, or having contact with people. It's often a long weekend away from everyone, which is not really being alone. I totally agree with you on that.

As BP says, there is a MASSIVE gap between minimal human contact, and having a full blown 12 hour conversation.

I would like to also point out that there is an even bigger gap between ZERO human contact, and just nodding at a neighbour.

For a little fun, extract yourself from ALL human contact, for 3 days. If that's not possible, try a weekend. I mean ALL human contact. No radio, no TV, no forum/internet (that includes porn). No going to the shops, not even open curtains to see people outside, if you live near people. Better still, find somewhere super remote, and go there for a long weekend. I know parts of Scotland where you won't see ANYONE for a good 2 weeks, even if you're walking about. Even somewhere like Exmouth or Dartmoor can keep you away for a small period of time.

Solo camping is a brilliant way to experience a slight feeling of solitude. Yes you're choosing to be away from everyone, but it's a big step toward feeling alone. Without human contact, the mind does start to play with you. I know guys that have been solo camping and totally tripped on it.

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But remember, the gap between total isolation, and choosing to be alone, is HUGE!!!

Solo camping is nothing compared to being totally alone, but at least it's a start toward knowing what it's really like.

[bigpaul]

I have spent weeks alone solo camping/ backpacking on Dartmoor in the past, not speaking to anyone for all that time, I might have seen someone on a distant tor through binoculars but that was the extent of it. and I loved every minute of it.

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a few years back we were snowed in, couldn't get the car off the drive and out onto the road kind of snowed in, we didn't see or speak to anyone for over 3 weeks nearly a month. obviously we had the tv and laptop but we didn't speak to a human being for all that time.

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and obviously we had each other, and no we didn't get "cabin fever".

[Mortblanc]

If being alone is such a lark then why is solitary confinement the most severe form of punishment available in the UK prison system?

And if that punishment is something that would not affect you, then would that not make you immune from any form of legal sanction and therefore a threat to society as a whole?

After all, the first comments made by those who were acquainted to most mass murderers is "he was a loner", "He spoke but kept to himself".

And if you are a loner, and you are developing a feeling of being constantly watched, it is because you ARE being constantly watched. All of the anti terror/law enforcement advisements warn the population to keep an eye out for these "loners", they are a dangerous lot. Best keep an eye on them.

So yes, you really are being watched. And people really are talking about you in whispers. And TPTB really are after you.

[Steve]

(28 August 2015, 18:45)Mortblanc Wrote: So yes, you really are being watched. And people really are talking about you in whispers. And TPTB really are after you.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.




I like people, being alone is, well, lonely

[Scythe13]

(28 August 2015, 19:49)Steve Wrote:

(28 August 2015, 18:45)Mortblanc Wrote: So yes, you really are being watched. And people really are talking about you in whispers. And TPTB really are after you.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.




I like people, being alone is, well, lonely

And as MB says, being alone is the highest form of punishment. Even psychopaths have been known to have issues with it.

Nazi Germany used the Jews for many experiments. One of which was the effects of solitary confinement. It turns out madness is a VERY common side effect.

BP, if you love it, that's cool. All the more power to you. It just means that you're in about the 0.0001% that can cope with it. To have so many people on the forum able to cope with it, that's impressive.

One of the reasons people get married or be in a relationship is because "Man should not be alone." Not males, but mankind. That's one of the reason so many people hop from one marriage to another.

If me and the wife split up, I wouldn't bother moving on…I say that now. But being alone, emotionally, even though I would be surrounded by people, that would be really hard to cope with. Hats off to people whom have lost their nearest and dearest, and still soldier on. After I lost my dad, that was the hardest thing that ever happened to me. So losing EVERYONE, and being alone without the option to have people around…that's being truly alone.

I'm with Tarrel, and hats off to him for being honest about it. Even short periods of feeling alone can (and frequently does) cause people to cry for no reason that they can understand. Been there, experienced that. When I was working security, I spoke to a few builders about depression and the alike, and many of them took me to the side and had a word about cracking up and crying for no reason. It's a secret they were all hiding from each other. These were big guys, and you wouldn't dare say they were weak.

There may be some people that can accept it and get on with being alone. My concern is that there are many people whom have expectations of themselves without testing them.

If you feel you can cope with being totally lone, give it a go and see how it feels. Then come back to this thread and say what you experienced. Try going somewhere isolated, without phone signal, where you are hugely unlikely to see anyone for at least a week, then see how you feel.

----- Please note, for legal reasons, don't go solo camping or do any other kind of dangerous activity. Don't even stand at the top of the stairs incase you fall down there. If you decide to do anything dangerous, including stroking an angry dog, then that simply means you're an idiot and therefore do not have the right to sue me if it all goes wrong. My suggestion is purely as a mental exercise and health and safety should be your number one concern…not getting on with life and experiencing everything that you can. All my posts with any kind of recommendation are meant as purely entertaining scribbles, and not to be taken seriously. Be safe, and sue someone else if s**t goes wrong up for you because you tried to do something I do. Be safe and wrap yourself in cotton wool. -----


----- For legal reasons, do not wrap yourself in cotton wool! Cotton wool is known to have various microbes and bacteria that can be harmful. Also, cotton wool is not fashionable and could well get you beaten up by the fashion police. Not to mention the possible risks involved in wrapping oneself in any kind of material. Don't be an idiot. Use common sense, and if anything goes wrong…it's your own fault, so there's nobody to sue! All posts, on every forum, on every planet, are for entertainment's sake and should not be taken as actual advice or suggestion, or even an idea worth contemplating! Go live your life and be safe! -----

For legal reasons, don't live your life if that involves anything dangerous! But don't kill yourself either.

No wait…don't live someone else's life either, as that's fraud and identity theft.

Hold on a second….I'm too tired to be writing this.

Be safe.

[Devonian]

Maybe people should stop pretending that we are all the same and telling us that we are something which we clearly know we are not, without knowing a thing about us, our pasts or what we have experienced to make us the way that we are.

Please open your minds up to their being different possibilities to those "you" believe in.

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PS. I wont be able to respond to this over the weekend as I'll be completely alone in the Cambrian mountains until Monday with no internet connection.

[Straight Shooter]

Bugger ....you should have said Dev......we could have met up for tea ! and had a race.....landy v bitchy