Closing the Barn Door After the Bull is Loose

[CharlesHarris]

I will be watching your election results with interest and hope that the outcome pleases you.

I suppose the fellows in the van whom the police shot, all worked in the food service industry and were on their way to work, which is why they carried those butcher knives, which I suppose in that case were entirely legal...

Perhaps all meat should be ground and processed in a factory under controlled conditions, so that knives are unnecessary. It should only be necessary for people to have plastic spoons, which are not considered dangerous provided that they weigh less than 20g and do not exceed 20cm in length. Also recyclable, shatterproof plastic plates and bowls should be mandatory, and lager to be sold in aluminum cans or dispensed into paper cups monly, lest someone break a pint bottle to use it as a slashing weapon, or bash someone about the noggin with his tankard!

Does this mean that bangers would also have to be cut up or would they be permitted to be sold whole so that they could still be used as sex toys?