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no longer children
28 November 2017, 18:46,
#1
no longer children
When I was growing up the presence of an adult child in the home was unheard of. By 20-25 every person was out of the parents home.

I personally would have gone insane if I had been forced to spend another day in the home of my parents. Their way or no way, complete knowledge of movements was demanded and complete obedience was expected. When I went into the military I found it very easy to deal with the rules and regs after living with my parents for 20 years. Boot camp was easier than a weekend at home.

We wold do anything to get out of the house, including sharing a house with a half dozen flat-mates and working two jobs to pay the bills.

Right now I have several friends that have adult children still living at home and they are not just out of school, they are 25-35 years old.

They work good paying jobs, have good automobiles and even have finished graduate school in some cases.

What they do not have is a long relationship with a member of the opposite sex string enough to require a separate domicile, children of their own or any plans for development of either.

I am not talking about deadbeat or drug addled kids or about those sob stories where the girl ran off with a moron, had three kids, and then returned to live in her childhood bed room with her family and have G-dad pay the bills.

The kids I am speaking of were considered high achievers and potential leaders in their fields. At least all fields except their personal lives.

Is this lack of independence a sign of the development of a personality that will tolerate anything to avoid personal responsibility, or is it a sign that parents have become too lenient and made the home way too comfortable for their adult kids?
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28 November 2017, 22:19,
#2
RE: no longer children
Times have changed MB ....back then discipline was observed at home and within the educational system ,respect was given... but also earned ,back then industry were crying out for skilled labour and tradesmen ....there were jobs EVERYWHERE ! with reasonable wages ...if you were prepared to work hard you we offered overtime , foremen,managers, took pride in their jobs and their responsibilities and this attitude had a trickle down effect .
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They work good paying jobs, have good automobiles and even have finished graduate school in some cases.
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How good is good paying jobs ? more to the point ....How much debt are they in ...auto,student loans ....credit cards ...none of this in our day MB .

Industry no longer Need Us as workers , only as consumers ... will satisfy their need of US at all....we have become a commodity and to facilitate the need for profit ,self checkouts have gone from one isle position to ten isles (at least over here in the UK ) .

cyborgs......yes anyone with a mobile phone is a cyborg .....touch card recognition payments ....cashless society is here , cash is surplus to requirements .....so why are these kids/adults still living at home ? well you can meet a girl on line now MB no need the venture out the door ....order a pizza from your cell phone and play grand auto while you wait...on and on and around it go's..... the only thing getting better is AI the only thing getting thinner are jobs ...well paying too the not so well paying part time low hours JOBS ...not in our time MB.....and this new generation know it ( i believe ) they view responsibility like a type of disease to be avoided at all costs .....We had the best of it MB but every old guy i have talked to ...have always put me straight about THEIR time, Bloody funny that !.
The ability to laugh at yourself while you learn is a great attribute.
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29 November 2017, 09:09,
#3
RE: no longer children
It is not the job situation that has control of this condition over here SS.

Our economy is in a boom right now.

Unemployment is at a historic low.

Wages are at an all time high here.

That is in spite of the negative propaganda from the news agencies.

Student debt is not drowning these folks. They can string that along forever with no ill consequences if it even exists, and most students can get by without the famous student loan debt if they do not try to live on the loans that should be paying for tuition. Since these kids were living with Mom and Dad while in school and the parents picked up the tuition or they were on scholarships they have no loan debt.

These young adults are not trouble makers, rabble, disrespectful, or even lazy.

And they are not burger flippers, they have excellent jobs with high pay and are stashing money in the bank with each paycheck. Some of them are making as much as their parents and I know a couple of them make a lot more than the parents.

They simply do not want to leave home and seem to have no interest in creating a relationship, starting a family or creating their own home.

I have one friend with three of his four children, all in their late twenties, still at home. Another friend has two out of his three mid-twenties young professionals (a nurse and an engineer) still at home.

Another friend just got rid of his youngest, finally leaving at 37 due to his law firm transferring him to a different city!

One of my closest friends has three boys, a solicitor, an R&D specialist for Proctor and Gamble, and a seminary trained and ordained minister, all of them making more money than Dad and none of them moved out of the house before they were 30.

I do not think these parents are charging enough rent!
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29 November 2017, 12:20,
#4
RE: no longer children
It is not the job situation that has control of this condition over here SS.

Our economy is in a boom right now.

Unemployment is at a historic low.

Wages are at an all time high here.

That is in spite of the negative propaganda from the news agencies.
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I am a bit confused MB....what propaganda from what news agencies ? .....if all is as you say is TRUE ....why are interest rates so low ?....traditionally interest rates are a tool of central banks to control (Booms or Busts ) some banks offer negative rates ? when any economy is High or Booming rates go UP to control it and slow it down when the economy is struggling rates are low to re energise it ....off topic i know but it is a question of who,s propaganda you listen to ....if it looks like a duck ,it is a duck.
The ability to laugh at yourself while you learn is a great attribute.
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29 November 2017, 14:01,
#5
RE: no longer children
Many of our kids are coddled. They just expect everything to be given to them on a plate. The parents that instill discipline have the children that are independent and more like us but many do not treat their kids th way they need to be treated. Even people brought up like us give their kids a lot more slack than they should have.

IMO it is a comfort thing. We live in an age that gives us so much risk free time that nobody has to take any responsibility for anything. Don't work, government will pay for housing and food. Spend all day on the internet playing games. Stay with your parents and do nothing. Parents don't want to be the ones to kick you out as it isn't a big deal for them to have you there. They have had you for 20 years already what is a few more?

It is our new society now. It has made the west weak and we will pay for it.
Skean Dhude
-------------------------------
It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change. - Charles Darwin
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29 November 2017, 19:17,
#6
RE: no longer children
(29 November 2017, 12:20)Straight Shooter Wrote: It is not the job situation that has control of this condition over here SS.

Our economy is in a boom right now.

Unemployment is at a historic low.

Wages are at an all time high here.

That is in spite of the negative propaganda from the news agencies.
...............................................................................................................................

I am a bit confused MB....what propaganda from what news agencies ? .....if all is as you say is TRUE ....why are interest rates so low ?....traditionally interest rates are a tool of central banks to control (Booms or Busts ) some banks offer negative rates ? when any economy is High or Booming rates go UP to control it and slow it down when the economy is struggling rates are low to re energise it ....off topic i know but it is a question of who,s propaganda you listen to ....if it looks like a duck ,it is a duck.

https://www.cnbc.com/2017/11/29/fed-chai...onomy.html

There you go SS, and the source should be progressively acceptable.

We also have a stock market correction due before year end based on the record setting volume of the past year, so do not be surprised when the markets dip world wide in the near future.

One of the reasons I think these nesters are still at home is the difficulty of obtaining home mortgages as first time buyers no matter how much money they make or how stable their income is. It just does not pay to sell home loans at the present low rates, so the standards to qualify are set so high they can not obtain the money.

And part of it is the regulations on qualifying set up by our government over here in reaction to the last crisis, which was caused by undeserving people being granted loans on special programs instigated and demanded by the government.

I think some of these nesters are trying to skip the rental phase of economic life and go directly from the nest into home ownership. The present load structure has hindered them.
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30 November 2017, 15:41,
#7
RE: no longer children
MB has nailed it succinctly.

A few links which if a bit technical, are worthwhile reads:

https://www.nuveen.com/NuveenAssetManagement/
https://www.nuveen.com/Commentary/FixedI...ntary.aspx
https://www.nuveen.com/Commentary/FixedI...x#Section2

73 de KE4SKY
In
"Almost Heaven" West Virginia
USA
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