Urban Raiders

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The crazy lady who owned our local corner shop got robbed years ago. The old bill did nowt, even though it was general knowledge who the scrote was who broke in.

She took serious umbrage to this, and installed her own Anti-Scrote door. It consisted of:

One Metal garden gate (the full size ones that fill a doorway)
One lamp
One piece of Wire.

Install the gate in the doorway
Take the lamp, rip the wires out and chuck the lamp away.
Take the fuse out of the plug, replace with wire
Attach the wire to the gate and plug into the wall socket (make sure it's not turned on first)

Hey presto - AS Gate installed.

The next part was her fatal error. After the construction of the device, she was very proud of it. She'd show the regulars what she'd made. Word spread, so the old bill called in to find out if it was true. Like a muppet she said "Yes, took me all day to make it - if that little f*cker comes back he'll fry before he gets in"

They threatened to arrest her (I'm not sure on what grounds - maybe stupidity) unless she removed it. Silly cow let her husband take the whole thing down. All she legally had to do was unplug it!

Not a bad idea though