What do you have to hand now?

[BeardyMan]

Those powdered fire extinguishers are good fun. I certainly wouldn't want to get a face full of that, then beaten round the head repeatedly with an empty cannister...

Oven cleaner is a good one too. We all need clean ovens. Yes officer, I was cleaning the oven at 0330 when the intruder walked into the kitchen.
They will do permanent damage though (read the warnings on the can) and come out in a wonderful foam. Nice and sticky