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NorthernRaider · (This post was last modified: 10 December 2015, 11:48 by NorthernRaider.)

BREAKING NEWS ISIL supporters in China seen handling Chopsticks!!! Dianne Abbott and John Mc Donnall on TV demanding a ban on all Chinese goods to UK.

Len McClusky announces that all Union members will now eat their Chinese take away's ONLY with their fingers, When a reporter asked about eating Peking Duck and Shark Fin soup McClusky said it was the Tories fault for not putting it in paper cups and he called an immediate walk out of all union members after 3 out of 250,000 members voted in favour of strike action.

The following day Nicola Sturgeon announced that no Chinese products would be allowed to be sold in Scotland, including clothes, shoes, toilet paper, baby wipes, soap and shampoos. " We Scots will no longer use Soap, Shampoo or toilet paper" A hack from the Daily Mail got kicked sensless by the SNPs community cohesion minister ( on bail for fiddling expences) for daring to suggest that was normal in Scotland in jest.

The Tory Candidates Goldsmith Z and Johnson B are currently under investigation for apparently bulk buying 10 million left handed chopsticks for distribution to the NHS and Schools but planned on charging £20 EACH for the right handed versions.

Nigel Farage and Paul Nuttall were last night spotted dining in an banned underground Chinese Restaurant and were snapped using banned Chopsticks.

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